From the time she was born I would sing “You are my sunshine” whenever I was holding her. As our daughter got older, I would sing that song to her whenever she was sick, feeling down, or just because. It was one of the last songs that I sang to her before she became an angel. It was our special song. It was her nickname and her code name for elementary school. If someone said they were sent to pick her up from school, unless they knew her code name she would know not to get in the car with them. She was my sunshine even on the darkest days. How I miss my sunshine. I try to put on a happy face and go about my day. I have to. Not so deep inside though, I am a mess. My heart is broken in a million pieces and like Humpty Dumpty, it will never be put back together again. I am told that “it” will get better and I imagine it will. Everything is still so fresh and raw right now. How grateful I am to have so many friends and family upon whom I can lean. Our son is my rock. Our grandson is my lifesaver. My husband is my everything. Our son-in-law and daughter-in-law are my angels on earth. I know they hurt as I do but I also know that they are trying their best to comfort me. I should be trying to comfort them..
One of our nieces gave me a gift for Christmas and I doubt that she knew just how meaningful that gift would be to me. It is a Willow Tree angel called Sunshine…That angel is displayed in a very special place now. It is right beside our angel’s urn. I wear a cross now that contains some of our daughter’s ashes and we have a medallion with her fingerprint on it.
I cry over anything and over nothing. My tears are like the rain that we are having right now. No sign of anything slowing down. No sign of sunshine at least in the sky. Sunshine will always be in my heart. That will never go away. I love you, Sunshine