Dear God,

We are on our way home from a long weekend at the Isle of Palms. Not sure why I’m telling you that because you know that already. We had a good time keeping Wesley with us while his mommy and daddy attended the wedding and weekend festivities of a Higgins Lake/Lakeside friend. (Charleston must be a popular destination for Michiganders.) 😊He loved the beach, the swimming pool, flying kites…we saw the wonder of it all through the eyes of a toddler and what a joy it was.

Amidst all of the joy and love that was ever present, it was so hard to hold back the tears. So many memories kept rushing through my mind. The beach was Jennifer’s happy place. We made so many memories there. Our adventures would often leave us in tears from laughing so hard; our cheeks and our stomachs would hurt from laughing. She and I never knew what we would find “right around the next corner” but we could hardly wait to find out.

This morning as we left the island, I could hold back the tears no longer. Crossing the Ben Sawyer drawbridge was more than I could bear. One of our happiest and most comical adventures occurred at this bridge just last April. She laughed so hard  at me because I was so excited that we were first in line when a tall ship was going under the bridge and I had just said a few minutes earlier that I wished we could see a tall ship go under the bridge. With my camera in hand I stood up and looked out of the sunroof to take pictures. Meanwhile she was laughing so hard she began to cackle. That precious, joyful memory brought me to tears this morning.  As hard as she was laughing, my body was shaking because I was crying so hard.  Only a year ago…and now that memory, that precious memory is all that I have and I am so grateful to have that memory, but oh, how it hurts.

As our family was having breakfast this morning in Mt Pleasant, I was thinking about how much our lives have changed since December. As I sat beside Doug and across from Robert and Caitlin, my heart was full of love for them. In a few hours Robert would be on a plane to Chicago for a week, Caitlin and Wesley would be home without him and Doug would remain in Charleston. The love that I have for them is immeasurable, just like the love you have for us. I hope they will always know that.

With all of the love that I have in my heart; a love that hurts so bad, how I wish I had your strength, but that’s not humanly possible. I just need you to always hold me up because I can’t do it alone.