It’s been a journey of overwhelming happiness and incredible sadness. My journey as a mom began 15,533 days ago. On October 29, 1978, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. She had our hearts from the moment she was born. She was perfect in every way. On July 18, 1981, which was 14,540 days ago or 993 days after the beginning of my journey, our family was complete. Our son was born and he was everything that we had hoped for. He, too, was perfect in every way. We were blessed beyond words.
The days turned into weeks, months and years and somehow everyone survived, even during their 15th year. For both of them, age 15 was a challenge. Hormones? Maybe. Trying to find themselves? Probably. It was a time of learning to be patient, praying for guidance and letting go of the apron strings just a little at a time, while reserving the right to reel those apron strings back in at any time. As parents, all we ever wanted was for our children to become responsible, respectful adults and hopefully would marry someone who shared the same values and understood the importance of family, treating everyone with dignity and respect and who knew God. I have no doubt that our son-in-law and daughter-in-law were sent by the angels. Our prayers had been heard.
Happiness that knew no end, family vacations, celebrating the birth of our grandsons, watching in awe as our son became a husband and then an amazing father…seeing our daughter, radiant and beautiful, marry the love of her life…we were blessed beyond measure. We surely must have done something right.
Journeys can be difficult, however. Disappointments, heartaches, crying oceans of tears and sadness have been part of the journey. Watching your children learn life lessons sometimes the hard way, could be heartbreaking. Knowing when to back away and “let them be” didn’t come easy. Moms are supposed to make everything right or so I thought. Life lessons for Moms…I could write a book.
Unbelievable sadness, not knowing how I could possibly live another day without our daughter was my ultimate test of faith. No parent should outlive their child. No parent should lose a part of their heart and still be able to function. It is only by the grace of God and the support of my wonderful family and friends that this has been possible. My anchor is the undeniable love, support and understanding of my husband. Our son is my rock. Without them, without our daughter-in-law and our grandsons, life would be meaningless and my journey would be for naught.
On this Mother’s Day I am thankful. I’m thankful for being chosen for this journey. The joys and the sadness I that experienced have always been a lesson of some sort. I haven’t always understood those lessons but I know that there has always been a message in them. I just have had to always remember to listen to that still, small voice even though I may have been screaming, not wanting to listen. I have had to remember that life is a test…full of lessons…some easy and some incredibly difficult. After all, it is a journey…