Don’t Blink

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family

We were high school sweethearts. He went to Clemson. I went to “that other school”. More scholarships were offered to me by them. Not my first choice but the best choice.
Daddy died when I was 14; we weren’t rich. About 6 weeks before he died, we had a telephone and a hot water heater installed. Before that, we used our uncle’s phone. He lived next door with his wife and 13 children. We bathed in about an Inch of warm water that had been heated in 2 dishpans and then quickly taken to and poured in the bathtub. We were always clean. Our clothes were always clean because mama washed them in the sink and hung them outside to dry. After daddy died we got a washing machine and eventually a dryer but Mama preferred the clothesline. Mama didn’t drive so when Daddy died I started driving. No permit yet. Certainly no drivers license. We lived in a small town, 2 red lights, knew most everyone, related to many. People knew. It was understood that I would only drive to the church and to town, both no more than a mile from our house. People knew and said nothing. They understood.

Fast forward a few years. Both of us graduate, get married and Rob goes into the Air Force. Oh boy, we were going to get to travel! I would finally get to fly on an airplane! Moving across the country to bases in Colorado and Nevada were exciting for us but man, what a culture shock! Where was my village, my people? My new village was the 2 of us, me and Rob. We learned rather quickly that we could figure things out together or be miserable. So glad we chose wisely.

Fast forward again. We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary last May. Has it been a walk in the park? Ha! Along the way we had many “rainy days” but we always managed to see rainbows in the end. Those “rainy days” made us stronger as a couple; more determined to always do what was right; didn’t matter what other people thought. I’m glad we only had us at that time.

During our 50 years of marriage, God gave us 2 beautiful children, a daughter and a son. We weren’t the perfect parents, we didn’t have all of the answers but we sure tried. We tried to teach them about good values, morals, the importance of education, making and keeping commitments and the importance of always doing the right thing. We taught them to respect everyone, not just a particular group. They began going to church when they were 6 weeks old. Church has always been an important part of our life. We need to be fed spiritually, especially now. We have to keep our focus on living the life that God has put before us. It would be so easy to make excuses and stray from the very foundation that was built for us and for generations to come. Our family understands that. Our daughter who is now an angel, watches over us and I’m sure she nudges us more than one would think.

We love to travel. We loved making memories with our children that would stay with them long after any money was gone. We travelled internationally several times with our children. Visited 13 countries in Europe; was honored to be able to meet and visit with the clan chieftain of Clan Cameron, my ancestral family. He graciously invited us in to our ancestral home, Achnacarry, which is a castle near Fort William in the Highlands of Scotland. He shared some stories of our ancestors leading up to when some of the family boarded a ship for America. All of us learned more about my family from him that day than we would have ever known otherwise. We took them on mission trips to Ecuador and Honduras. Life-changing experiences for them. Precious memories.

We visited as many states as we could and they always knew it would be educational, at least in part. I always had books, travel guides, itineraries with me. There were no cell phones. No Google or Alexa or Siri..just me and my plethora of information coupled with my willingness to walk up to strangers and ask questions. You will never know if you don’t ask.🙂

With all of our travels before and after our children moved away, we never visited NYC. We talked about it several times but would always put it off “until later”. Watching the lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas tree tonight has always been something I wanted to do in person; on my bucket list along with Pops Goes the Fourth in Boston. I guess on my bucket list they will remain, however, and it makes me a little sad. Already this week we have had 4 doctor visits, labs, X-rays and that coupled with Rob’s mobility issues now, my optimism isn’t as bright as it once was. It’s gotten a little dimmer these days.
You see, it seems like only yesterday we were planning new adventures for our family; making memories was important. Our 2 precious grandsons came along and we began making plans for lots of adventures with them. We want them to have lots of memories with Namma and Papa. We continue to make plans but something happened along the way. We blinked!😳

Don’t blink!

Perfect Days

In the darkness of night I awoke to the muffled sounds of the ocean waves. Your laughter and the laughter of your cousins overpowered that magnificent force. The brilliance of the sun on that hot, summer day paled in comparison to your smile when you turned around. You were in your happy place as you were sitting at the water’s edge with your cousins. At that moment all was right with the world because family was all around. The day was simply perfect… I miss those days but most of all, I miss you, Jennifer. You helped to make those days perfect. 😪💔

I Can’t but I Will…

This entry was written for a friend last night whose son was deployed earlier in the day for locations unknown.

Kim, my heart hurts for you. Being a mom is the most rewarding yet most difficult job there is. Our children come to us with no instructions so we must rely on our instincts and the wisdom of our own moms and others to nurture and teach our children. I learned early on that I would never be a perfect mom but I knew that I was going to do my best each and every day. Prayer and listening to that still, small voice also guided me. You are a good mom and your children are blessed to be able to call you their mom.

I wish that I could tell you that you shouldn’t worry but I can’t. I wish that I could tell you that time will pass quickly and he will be home before you know it but I can’t. I wish that I could take the fear of the unknown away but I can’t.

What I can do, however, is promise you that if you ever need to talk, cry, scream or whatever, I am just a phone call away and I will be there for you. What I can do is remind you how much you are loved by so many even when you don’t love yourself. One of Jennifer’s favorite songs was “His Eye Is On The Sparrow”. She loved the line, “His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me”. Those words are so true. I believe with all of my heart that God is watching over all of us. Finally, for now, what I can do is promise you that both of you will be in my daily prayers and I will pray for you to find peace, comfort and strength in the days to come.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.

**To all military moms and families, thank you for the service and the sacrifices that your brave sons and daughters are making each day so that we can continue to enjoy our freedom. May they all stay safe and soon return home to their families.

The Little Redheaded Girl

A decade ago I met her when she came into the office and sat down beside me. She seemed to be very focused on her task at hand so any conversation during that initial meeting was limited. I could tell that she was not going to stop what she was doing to engage in idle chitchat. Subsequent meetings were pretty much the same…come in, sit down, turn on laptop, click away at the keys, fax a few things and out the door she would go.

Over time I was able to get her to talk a little bit more but even that was hit or miss. Why did she have to be so focused? Didn’t she know that I was not going to stay quiet? I had things to talk about, questions to ask, opinions were sought, including hers. Look up from the dang laptop and breathe three big cleansing breaths! I figured that would give me an opportunity to get her attention for a minute at least. It didn’t. Even though she was looking at me and smiling, I could tell that she was not really listening. She was thinking about how much work she had to do before she could go home. She wasn’t about to take her work home with her because as I eventually learned, she wasn’t going to work for free. It was then that I cringed and thought about the times that I had waited until I got home to complete everything and by doing that, I had “worked for free”. 😩. The little redheaded girl had a point and I tried to follow her lead. It usually didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I’m sure it wasn’t because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.🙂

Our jobs were stressful. People depended on us. We became part of their family. It was impossible not to let our professional lives spill over into our personal lives. Our cell phones were attached to our ears; the calls were many and the time of day or night didn’t seem to matter. We were their lifeline, their hope and their reassurance. As much as we loved what we did, burnout was setting in. Something had to change.

On one particular fall day, I was leaving a patient’s home when my phone rang. It startled me because I was so far out in the country and cell phone towers were not plentiful out there. I mean, you just about had to pump in sunshine; I was out in the sticks! In fact, I did have to drive up the road just a little bit so that the static would subside and the garbled voice would become clear. Quite out of the blue, I was being asked to come in to be interviewed for the assistant director of nursing position at a healthcare facility. Wow! We talked on the phone for a while and plans were made to continue the conversation in the office. I continued making my visits that day but I had one lingering question in the back of my mind. I had been in middle management for a number of years and it just about broke me. Did I want to do that again? I did not but I had someone in mind. The little redheaded girl would be perfect in that position. I called the facility, expressed my appreciation for being contacted and told the director of nursing that I knew just the right person for the job and it wasn’t me. It was the little redheaded girl.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. She got the job; I left home health and that was that. Only it wasn’t. The job that I had taken after leaving home health didn’t work out like I thought it would. I called the little redheaded girl and told her that my job was not working out and to keep her ears open for any available positions. Less than a month later, we were working together again, It was great. I had missed her.

We worked together for about seven years. I was in management again, reporting to her. It felt more like a mother-daughter team instead of a manager/assistant director of nursing team. I was the mother,🙂 During that time, she became the director of nursing and a friend of ours was hired to be the assistant director of nursing. We were a team for sure now and I was still the mother. We had some good times and some not so good times but through it all, we had each other.

I retired three months ago. Having been a nurse since 1973, it was time. The trio became a duet. They continued to work in healthcare and I began baking more bread. Our days were quite different. Changes were being made. We all began to focus on other things and as I said earlier in this post, the little redheaded girl could focus! Better than most I would say.

Last Friday was her last day. She will still be in healthcare only now it will be working with young people, not geriatrics. She will do a great job and I am excited for her. Watch out you high school students. She is little but that red hair…don’t mess with her or you may regret it! Oh, and she is from Texas and you don’t mess with them either.

The trio that became a duet is now a solo. Gina, you keep everyone straight and in line. If anyone can do it, you can. The 506 is always open if you need to get away for a bit. 🧡

Enjoy this new chapter in your life. You will be great. No more late night phone calls or texts. No more worrying about staffing ratios…Little redheaded girl, now you truly are back in high school.😉

Go get ‘em, Shauna. ❤️

Change Begins With You

A comment, a look, not hearing or understanding what was said…these are examples of things that can create friction or misunderstanding among individuals. It happens and often the person most affected has no clue other than his/her observations that something has “changed”…but what and more importantly, why?

Passing judgement on someone, pointing fingers, making false accusations, jumping to conclusions, asking everyone but the one who should be asked can all lead to hurt feelings and confusion. Friendships, work environments, are strained and sometimes damaged beyond repair. The mental stress that is created can weigh heavily on the mind and is hard to forget; sometimes impossible to forget. Actions or lack of and most importantly the lack of communication can cause irreparable damage and that is so unfortunate because it can be avoided.

The environment in which we live has become so caustic. So many people seem to be in a defense mode much of the time trying to protect their turf, their space, their feelings of self-worth. What happened to focusing on the problem at hand and working together to solve the problem? Where has the trust gone? Have we become an “it’s all about me” society?

Colleagues working together for a common cause can achieve so much. Colleagues who are suspicious of others with whom they work can achieve very little. It is so easy to jump to conclusions or misinterpret what an individual said or didn’t say, did or didn’t do. The saga begins and often it is one-sided because the individual is clueless as to what is happening. How sad this is when adults forget that they are adults and begin acting like they are in middle school. Sides are taken, gossip becomes rampant and trust is no more.

We are all on this ride together. It is not about color. It is not about religion or sexual orientation. As individuals we should all try to work together. The world is becoming so complex and unpredictable. Attitudes need to change. Trust needs to be renewed. Respect for others and not being so harsh or quick to judge needs to relearned. Communication has to be a priority and this applies to all levels including in the homes, the workplace, among friends and acquaintances, etc.

We can make a difference. We can be the light that others want to follow. It has to begin somewhere so why not let it begin with YOU?

Code Name – Butch

Sometimes you just can’t reference people by their given names and you can draw your own conclusions about that.  Nothing is wrong with that concept; sometimes names need to be changed to protect the innocent. 😉

I first met Butch several years ago. Immediately impressed with Butch’s sense of humor, smile, obvious love of life and all things orange, I knew that we would be friends for a long time.  Our visits have been scattered but rest assured there was always laughter with a little critiquing about food, weather, opinions, etc.  Other obligations meant that these visits usually were brief but a lot can be said in a short amount of time.

Fast forward a little and laughter and smiles becomes tears and concern. Anxiety and worry have tried to settle in but family and friends are trying to keep anxiety and worry at bay. Not going to bring Butch down. Too many prayer warriors; so much love. Those bothers can just move on out of here. Not gonna have it if at all possible.

Next Saturday will be filled with anticipation and hope. Spirits will be high, friends and family will gather around in support of their team. Old friendships will be rekindled and acquaintances will become friends. Tailgates become feasts, stories are told and memories are made.  Working together, that which could be challenging becomes easy and much can be accomplished.

This type of comaraderie is evident in so many situations.  People come together to help others because they care. That is what friends and family do…it isn’t necessary to ask or wish…it just comes naturally, sometimes when least expected. It happens because people care. Butch, the militia is coming together to help so just be gracious and say thank you. 🙂

Now go get ‘em!

What If…

What if you or someone you loved or truly cared about was suddenly faced with life-changing events? What would you do?

What if someone you loved or truly cared about called you and it was obvious that they needed to talk? What would you say?

What if that same person was frightened? How would you comfort them?

You tell them that if they ever need anything, all they have to do is ask. What if they did ask? Did you really mean those words? Would you be too busy with your own life to help them?

What if you do nothing, offer no support, no comforting words or a simple touch of the hand to show that you care? How would you feel days, months, years from now when that memory suddenly comes to mind?

What if you had little to offer but for a few dollars? Would you give it to help someone or would you save it to buy something for yourself? In the Bible, the widow’s mite was more meaningful than the treasures that were being given by the wealthy. She gave all she had, literally. I have no doubt that she was blessed beyond measure because of her selfless sacrifice.

Even the smallest gift is valuable. The smallest gift may be just the amount that is needed to start a new program, continue research, help a patient, etc…No gift is too small.

Please take a moment out of your busy day or better yet, as soon as you finish reading this blog, and make a donation to the ALS Association. Lou Gehrig’s Disease is a progressive neurological disease for which there is no cure – yet. Your donation may just be what it takes to tip the scales to success! Go to this ALS site: http://web.alsa.org/goto/wsexton and make a donation. The monies will stay in this area and will help families while research continues. All “likes” to the blogs are appreciated but “likes” don’t offer monetary assistance, but you already know that…

I pray to God that you and your loved ones never have to hear the words, “You have ALS.” If you ever do hear those words, I know that you would be educating everyone that you knew about the disease, the progression and the promises that research is so close to making a reality.

Think about it and donate today. Join the team to walk in the ALS walk in October in Greenville, SC. You will feel so good knowing that you are helping someone who very well could be a total stranger, but in the eyes of Christ, that person is your brother or sister. That total stranger could become one of your best friends.

Our brother was diagnosed with ALS 3 weeks ago. He and other ALS patients need your support through donations and prayers.

Stepping on Toes Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

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bible, christianity, faith, god, jesus

Sometimes people don’t want to hear what is being said. They don’t like having their toes stepped on, especially in a church setting. It reminds them that perhaps they have gotten a little too comfortable in their personal bubble and have failed to take notice of life outside that bubble. A reality check isn’t always pleasant but is sometimes necessary.

A minister’s job has to be one of the most difficult professions. Balancing ministerial responsibilities and realizing that what one says will quite possibly be interpreted multiple ways has to be a burden at times. Walking a fine line between what needs to be said and figuring out a way to say it without offending anyone would be an impossible task I would think. But as a minister who is called to proclaim the gospel and bring people to Christ, how can one be expected to only say what makes people feel comfortable and good about themselves? Church isn’t meant to be a social club. I don’t think that is what God intended.

We live in a turbulent society today and it is my belief that we simply cannot keep hiding and looking the other way. If we are called to be our brother’s keeper, then we must do that. We don’t have to look very far to find someone in need. I think that our church does a great job in ministering to those in need via contributing to the Clemson Community Care, the Crawford fund, and others. I think that our church is a loving church who gladly welcomes a very diverse population to worship with us. Inclusion is vital.

As human beings, we have different opinions and beliefs on just about everything and it is normal to associate with those who share similar beliefs. To do otherwise would be too uncomfortable, maybe. Perhaps that is part of society’s problem. Only discussing what is popular, pleasant and doesn’t involve confrontation does not accomplish anything other than keeping that bubble alive and comfortable. Ignoring the bigger problems that are staring us in the face every day now is only going to help escalate those problems. We can’t run away from the bigger picture. We have to find a way to come together and work alongside each other in order to be sure that future generations will have the advantages and the freedoms that we have all enjoyed but are now in jeopardy of being lost.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a minister taking us to task and reminding us that all is not well with the world. All is not well with how people are being mistreated, deported or even killed. All is not well with having a government which apparently has no guardrails and only wants to create havoc and more chaos simply for the good of a few.

That is not Christ-like. In fact it is the very opposite of being Christ-like. We as human beings need to open our hearts and minds. We need to not be afraid to face tough hurdles that get in the way. We can agree to disagree but if we don’t work towards a common goal, will anything ever change? Is that what we really want? Is that what God wants? Is that what we want for our future generations? I have my answer. What is yours?

Where Have All the People Gone?

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faith, jesus, life, love, writing

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’m having difficulty wrapping my head around all of the evil that is present in our country now. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that many people are ok with the corruption, the violence and the total disregard for their fellow man. What has happened to human decency? How can anyone with a conscience stay silent?
Cities are being invaded, innocent people are being taken hostage, removed from their home and relocated to a place they don’t belong, and people are being killed. Children are taken away from their parents. Is this what WWII was like?

I fear not for myself but for my family, my grandchildren especially. What kind of world will they have to live in as they get older? Will they know peace as we once knew it? Will their freedoms be methodically taken away? Will they have a future? I wish I could put everyone that I love in a plastic bubble and protect them from the harsh realities that we are having to endure now. I am sad because some of my family members will no longer communicate with me. Differences of opinions should not matter. I have been pretty vocal in some of my Facebook posts about my feelings regarding this administration. I am not positive that this is the reason for the blatant lack of communication but even my texts are not recognized. Family emails have gone unanswered. Mama and Daddy would be so disappointed. I guess that is life now. This administration has fractured more than the country and not enough people seem to care enough to do anything.

There is no justice in our country now. Total disregard for the rule of law. People who were elected to represent us have let us down. Their loyalty is to a narcissistic, evil man. His promises were fake just like he is fake. He cares for no one other than himself. It is beyond my comprehension that he has been allowed to lie, cheat, manipulate, do whatever he wants…and nothing is being done. We have no leadership and no representation, all because of one person who is being idolized and feared by those who promised to represent us. That hourglass for help ran out a long time ago.

God, I am trusting you to guide your people back to a more peaceful environment. It’s ok to disagree; it’s not ok to lose sight of what matters most and that has happened.

Read Exodus 20:4-6.

Observations & Realizations

The streets are empty; restaurants aren’t crowded and traffic moves more easily these days but a void remains. Clemson is more quiet now; the pace has slowed; the energy that was once felt has taken a hiatus. The students are hopefully spending some much needed time with their families and loved ones. They were exhausted. A break in routine was so desperately needed. You could see it in their eyes, their faces. Forced smiles and cautious optimism were present as the time for recharging and reflection had finally arrived.

As Rob and I delivered exam goodies to “our kids”, I realized that for many, it would be the last time that I would be able to see them, give them a hug, to be their Clemson mom and to deliver goodies to them because they would be moving on to a future that was being designed just for them. Their hard work and perseverance had paid off. The light that once was dim was shining brightly now and new adventures were about to begin.

I am happy. I am sad. You see, I need them more than they need me. In a way I am hugging Jennifer when I am hugging your sons and daughters. I see her smile and I hear her laughter. It will soon be ten years without our daughter and no, it isn’t easier. Some days I think it gets harder. Ten years ago yesterday Jennifer mouthed “I love you” to me and that was her last response to us before she closed her eyes. On the 19th at 3:16 in the afternoon she ran into the arms of Jesus. At that time, the sun cast a bright light through the hospital window onto Jennifer’s face and I have no doubt that we witnessed her spirit leave her earthly body. John 3:16 was one of her favorite verses; Proverbs 31:25-26 was another.

This past year has had its challenges for sure, both for me and for Rob. I am currently wearing a holter monitor to evaluate the episodes of bradycardia that I have begun to experience. My Fitbit has been recording heart rates in the low 50’s/high 40’s sporadically for a while and with my recent episode of pyelonephritis which is much improved but not yet resolved, my body has been trying to get my attention and it’s working. Fatigue and malaise have become unwanted guests.
Our Christmas decoration this year is a wreath on our front door and two Christmas flags on the porch. Anything more was too much of an effort for just the two of us. Thankfully we will be going to our son’s house on Christmas Day to enjoy the day with them.

As we reflect on this year and the social challenges that have become all too common, it is my prayer that 2026 will bring a sense of healing, understanding and renewed respect for each other. We need to work together and not against each other. Common decency is becoming uncommon and that needs to change. This is not meant to be political at all. I’m just expressing my concerns. We need to remember the teachings of Jesus and live by them. I believe that everyone, believer or not, wants everything to be equal and just, without prejudice. We are all humans in this great big world so let’s just get along and hum to Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” and mean it. If only it were that easy; wish my magic wand wasn’t broken.😔

As we continue the journey to Bethlehem, may the Peace of Christ be with you and your family this Christmas season and in the days after.

With much love and respect to all,
Kathy & Rob

The Days of Our Lives or is it Dark Shadows

Tags

bible, christianity, jesus, life, writing

I remember vividly when JFK, MLK and Bobby Kennedy were shot. I remember the days of segregation and even as a young girl I remember how unfair I thought it was. It didn’t make sense to me. Weren’t we being taught at home and at church to love one another? I don’t remember an “except” being part of the verse. But I was young and what did I know…I remember the day that the black students from New Bethel started attending our school. I don’t remember any problems at all, at least from us students. Friendships were initiated that day and it was good.

Growing up in a little town in Spartanburg County, everyone looked after each other. People were nicer then. People respected each other. You were most likely related to many of them. Disagreements were civil. It wasn’t always a walk in the park but it was a walk shared by many people and it was a walk that I will always cherish. It helped make me who I am today.

I remember when I heard the news about the Challenger and the Columbia space shuttle tragedies. I remember 9/11. Wish I could forget it but that will never be possible. The Columbine shootings, Sandy Hook shootings, the shootings at Mother Emanuel AME church in Charleston, the Orlando/Pulse nightclub shootings…these and so many others were all too horrific to even try to wrap my head around them.

Then there was the pandemic and it was about this time that there was a big shift in human nature. Almost overnight it seemed that people didn’t care about each other. The attitudes and hostility towards others was beyond my comprehension. How did that happen?

The Capitol Hill riots were indeed, a bleak day in United States history. How could this have been allowed to happen? Why was it not handled more quickly? What did it prove other than bullying had become an accepted form of behavior, at least for some.

It is not my concern what your political stance is. I really don’t care. What I care about is this country returning to some form of civility. It seems that today some people think it is socially acceptable to call others horrible names. It seems acceptable to pick out a verse in the Bible and use it for your benefit. Anyone who looks hard enough can find a passage of scripture to use or to twist it around to get their point across. No wonder this generation of young people has doubts about religion. What is being done to change their minds? It’s easy to quote scripture but to live by it seems to be a problem for some.

The internet has been part of the downfall of society. There is so much information on the worldwide web but how much of it is factual? Just because it is online doesn’t mean that it’s true. A sad part of this is that people look for something that meshes with their thought process and without delving further into what they have read, it becomes gospel. Believing what other people say or post about an issue, no matter how absurd it may seem, is shared and shared without acknowledging the validity of it. People are so quick to jump on a bandwagon and become part of like-minded thinkers, no matter if it’s truth or deception. It seems quite acceptable to ignore past actions of some but not for others. Put them on a pedestal because words are being said that you want to hear. That is the oldest trick in the book. Where is the sincerity and honesty in all of this? Let me know when you can prove it. It is acceptable it seems, to pull up events of long ago, of past friendships, pictures, etc., to try to degrade someone. It is acceptable to some it seems, to call people names, to negatively refer to their race, creed, color, ethnicity or sexual orientation if it is not in line with what you believe.

Some people have refused to step out of their comfort zone, to think outside the box, to THINK for themselves. Just be a robot and let others tell you what to do or what to think; it is easier that way. What a sad way to live…complacency has taken over intelligence.

Sir Walter Scott hit the nail on the head when he penned these words…”Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”. If you aren’t sure what that means, look it up.

If that doesn’t suit, read the words of Lord Acton who said, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Finally, if you only believe from a biblical standpoint…”You must not distort justice; you must not show partiality; and you must not accept bribes, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and subverts the cause of those who are in the right”. You can find that in Deuteronomy, by the way.

Those Men

Tags

family, fatherhood, life, love, parenting

I have known a lot of “those men” throughout my lifetime. Cousins galore at every family reunion; some of whom were more like brothers to me. Uncles, church friends, neighbors, brothers and brothers-in-law and then there was my dad. All of the men that I mentioned were very important to me. We were a close family and saw each other often. We loved one another.

As close as we all were, though, there was one man who experienced a life-changing moment; a rebirth. And from that day on, he became the most gentle soul, honest as the day was long, truly loved his fellow man and worked very hard to provide for his family. He, who only had an eighth grade education, began teaching learned men about the Bible. Every evening he would study his Sunday School lesson and read time and again to make sure he would explain things correctly. Here he was, an 8th grade educated guy teaching doctors, businessmen, bankers, etc., and apparently they hung onto his every word. He tried to step down from teaching but the class refused. He was the best teacher they had ever had they said. And so he stayed on until a heart attack took him away.

A 56 year old man who loved his family, loved the Lord and loved to fish. in fact, the day he died he was to leave on a fishing trip right after his doctor’s appt. He had just seen his doctor, walked up the street to get a prescription filled and while sitting in a chair, had a massive heart attack and died. That wonderful man of 56, that respected man of values and truths who was admired by so many was needed in Heaven on that chilly day in November. He had helped change so many lives simply by living an honest, hardworking life and treating everyone the same. He remembered, realized and was remorseful for some of his actions done in his earlier life. Some of his actions he was not proud of. Times were different back then. He went to meetings, wore different clothes, wasn’t recognizable in those clothes. I remember the stories. I remember going to a meeting with him. I was terrified. I also remember that he never wore those clothes again. He never went to those meetings again. He had a revelation and he became a changed man who lived the rest of his days as one of the finest men around.

How do I know this? I was blessed to have known him for 14 years. He took me to school that fateful morning and I remember saying “ I love you, Daddy.” when I got out of the car.

Those were the last words I said to my daddy. The man I adored, the man who taught me how to fish and the man who taught me about loving one another. His work on earth was done but as a 14 year old daughter, I still needed my daddy. I still hear him at times if I listen hard enough. He is my voice of reason. He would be so proud of his grandson and great grandsons.

Most of all, I hope I make him proud.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I love you and miss you so very much.

51

51 years ago on May 20, 1973, at 3pm at Woodruff First Baptist Church, Rob & I said “I do” and we meant that. It hasn’t always been easy, we had no money so we obviously married for love…struggled to make ends meet and all the while, we became closer to each other, depended on each other, solved problems together…There have been heartaches and there have been joyful times, good times and bad times. We grew up together. We met every challenge head on and worked thru it. For us it was all or none. We had a moral compass, integrity and a sense of never giving up. Now, 51 years later, we still love each other, respect each other and make sure that our house is a God-centered house at all times. Without Him, there would be no us.
For all of the wonderful life experiences along the way, for the sicknesses experienced, for the sad times that drew us closer together and for the joyful times we have experienced and hope to continue to experience, I can only say one thing.
I want to be by your side everyday because together we can handle anything that comes our way.

Here’s to many more starlit trips around the sun and the moon with you. You will always be “my Rob”. I love you. Happy Anniversary.

May 20, 1973

November 18, 2023

Jesus Bread and Rough Patches

The first Sunday of each month we have communion at our church. I have been baking the communion bread for several years now. It has become a labor of love and I lovingly refer to the communion bread as “Jesus Bread”.

The process takes two days from beginning to end. Last Saturday as I was forming each loaf to place into the pans, I found myself getting aggravated because I couldn’t get the loaves to be as smooth as I wanted them to be. There were some rough places that I just could not smooth out. “Jesus bread” had to be perfect. It represented the body of Christ.

Then it dawned on me. We are not perfect so was it realistic to think that I could bake the perfect bread? If we were indeed perfect, would we even need “Jesus bread”? If we were perfect, there would be no rough patches in our lives. Rob and I are on day 31 of our rough patch. He was seriously ill and was hospitalized for two weeks. Those two weeks were like a roller coaster ride for us and especially for him. It was scary not knowing from one day to the next how he would be. We (I) anxiously waited for every result to appear on “My Chart”. My heart would race, my mind would spin and panic would set in when the results were not in his favor. Being a nurse can be a blessing or a curse but during times like this, I was simply a wife; there were plenty of nurses who were there for him.

As a retired nurse I have plenty of memories of patients who rode their own roller coasters. I’ve always taken pride in my nursing knowledge and skills and tried my best to help comfort patients and families. It was part of what I did. Helping them understand their disease process and how to manage it was crucial. Regardless of the anticipated outcome I assured them that their loved one was going to get the best possible care and that they would not be alone in their journey.

I once sat with a patient for 36 hours straight. His wife had just died weeks before. They had no children. He was afraid to be alone. He was Jewish but had not practiced his faith in many, many years. He didn’t know what to expect. For 36 hours I sat beside him, holding his hand, trying to comfort him and reassuring him that he would not be alone. He was in a really rough patch. He asked me if I believed in Jesus and I told him that yes, I did believe. We talked about Jesus for a couple of hours. He had many questions which I answered to the best of my ability. As the sun began to go down so did he. His voice became softer; he became calmer when he mentioned his wife’s name. She was beside him he said. He did not appear to be afraid now. Just before he passed, he looked up at the ceiling and mumbled something. Then he turned his head towards me, still holding my hand, and in a weak but audible, soft voice said the words “I believe”. Those were his last words and his last breaths. His rough patch was over. Though he did not eat of the bread or drink from the cup, he was in the arms of Jesus now and I know that his sweet wife was there waiting for him. His imperfect body had been restored.

Navigating life’s rough patches can be exhausting but when I thought about the “Jesus bread” that I had baked, I knew that even in the midst of life’s rough patches we are never alone. Even with our imperfect bodies in our imperfect world, there is hope if we just truly believe and put our trust in the only one who is perfect.

Biscuits and Gravy

For some people their memory is going out into the woods to find the perfect cedar tree. I have that memory. I also remember hearing Christmas music being played over the speakers from the Western Auto. I remember standing along Main Street waiting on the Christmas parade to begin. It never started on time. But the street vendors were always there early, walking up and down the street with their balloons, their trinkets, the stuffed animals, the cotton candy…everyone seemed to always be in a festive mood. There was laughter and love, but we kids were impatient to see Santa. Off in the distance we would hear a siren and we would get so excited. We knew Santa was in town. We knew that we would see him soon. Dr. Bill Pearson often led the parade, riding his beautiful horse, but that was not what we kids were waiting on. The end of the parade was what we were eagerly anticipating. The parades seemed a lot longer in those days…

Christmas morning was a more quiet time back then. Not commercialized like it is today. Santa always put oranges, apples and pecans in my stocking. I don’t remember ever having anything else in my stocking but surely there must have been some candy. I remember that my stocking had a Santa face at the top. I remember because ~65 years later I still hang that stocking. There are no apples, oranges or pecans in it on Christmas morning anymore but it doesn’t matter. The stocking is filled now with precious childhood memories and for that, I am very grateful.

Daddy loved peppermint sticks and Mama would always buy a box of peppermint sticks at Christmastime. He also loved chocolate covered cherries and so did I. Mama always bought a box of them, too. Our daughter, upon hearing about my love for chocolate covered cherries, would always be sure that I received a box of them at Christmastime. They were for me and I would not share. Never felt guilty, either; I enjoyed every one of them. When she passed in 2015, chocolate covered cherries never tasted the same again. I bought a box just before Christmas but there was nothing special about them because they had not come from her. The memories of her bringing a box to me will sustain me from now on. It wasn’t because the taste had changed so much since she passed; the love was missing.

Daddy loved biscuits and gravy. Homemade biscuits were not uncommon; Mama made them every morning for breakfast but Christmas morning was special. On Christmas morning, Mama would fry fatback and make fatback gravy to have with our biscuits. Fatback was a staple in Mama’s kitchen; there was no such thing as canola oil back then. Fatback was used to season so many vegetables and man, those green beans and creamed corn tasted so good!

The tradition of that delicious Christmas morning breakfast continues to this day. It is expected. In fact, our son called me a couple of weeks ago to remind me that he was looking forward to gravy and biscuits on Christmas morning. He wasn’t disappointed. On Christmas morning I took everything to his house that I needed to make biscuits and gravy. He and his family have their own Christmas breakfast traditions now but I am so happy that this has become part of their tradition. Mama would be so happy.

Memories become more precious with time. Keeping traditions is so important because they often have been passed down from one generation to the next and serve as a reminder of who we are and where we came from. Starting new traditions and keeping them year after year is also important for the next generation. Keep building on them.

Jane

We celebrated a life well lived yesterday. My sister-in-law, Jane, won her battle and is now cancer free and is catching up with Jennifer and Wes. I imagine God has his hands full with the 3 of them now, and I wonder if they will ever get out of “time out”.

Jane had a sense of humor, sometimes even a bit sarcastic, but laughter and love were always guaranteed in her presence. One had no choice but to have a good time around her. She wanted everyone to be adventurous and enjoy the moment. Skydiving, hot air balloon ride, parasailing, climbing the Mayan ruins…she did them all but there were so many adventures yet to experience. Her bucket list was very long and she tried to get as many things as possible checked off that list. She loved life and embraced every adventure with anticipation, excitement and wonder, much like a child on Christmas Eve.

She loved animals, snakes and critters of all kinds but she loved people even more. She loved you no matter what. Bumps, bruises, wrinkles…it didn’t matter to her. Lifestyle, beliefs, age, economic status, social status…none of this was important to her. She was genuinely interested in everyone whose path she crossed. She always looked for the good in people and when realized, she would nurture that, often in a quiet, unassuming manner. She could lift you up when you were down and she could make you feel like you were the most important person with just a comment or a smile.With Jane, what you saw was what you got. There was no pretense with her.

Jane had a servant’s heart and her faith was unshakeable. When she received that grim diagnosis last May there was no pity party for her. She knew that there was a plan already in place for her and had been since the day of her birth. She never got angry about her diagnosis because she knew that God would be with her every step of the way. She accepted her diagnosis with grace and vowed to make the most of the time that she had left. She opted to try chemotherapy even though she knew the side effects would be brutal. She wanted to be here for her daughters, her granddaughters and her beloved husband of 54 years, Boyd. She wanted to make more memories with them. She wanted one more Christmas with them. She wasn’t afraid to die because she knew where she was going but she worried about those who would be left behind. In typical Jane fashion, her focus was never on her but was on the ones she loved the most.

Always the protector, she worried about her family who had become her caregivers. She was concerned that they would soon be overcome with exhaustion because her weakness prevented her from participating in her own care. They had to do it all. She thought that a week of respite care in the hospice house would be beneficial to everyone. She wanted them to be able to get some much needed rest and she needed to be able to rest without worrying about being a burden to her caregivers.

I believe that Jane knew her days on earth were coming to an end. I believe that she wanted to protect her family. I believe that she didn’t want all of the wonderful memories that were made at their house to be overshadowed by her last breath being taken in the house that she and Boyd had made into a home. So, in typical Jane fashion, she chose respite care, not for her sake but for the sake of her beloved family. She was to be at the hospice house for 5 days and then return home. She was at the hospice house for 5 days as was the plan but she didn’t return to the home that she and Boyd had built. On the 5th day, God called her to her heavenly home. He knew she was tired. He knew that her work on earth was done. She had indeed fought the good fight and she had won the race. She was suffering no more.

Going forward into life’s uncharted waters without Jane will be difficult not only for her family but also for those who loved her. Her smile, her laugh, her zest for life and her unwavering faith are just a few things that defined Jane. I am sure that many lives have been enriched because of the kindness and compassion that she so easily shared. Her love for others will never be forgotten and I believe that she was a perfect example of the words expressed in the hymn, “They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love”.
She lived the words found in Philippians 4:6-9…”Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God…Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Until we meet again, Jane, you will live on in our hearts and in our memories. We love you and thank God for you and the life you lived so well. ❤️